2.23.2010
everything is everything.

things change, and things don't. i'm fairly pleased with how things ended up last night, another chapter ending, and a new one beginning. still partially sick, but i have to buck up and go to work today, boo. it's raining like hell outside, but what are you gonna do, meh.

it seems everyone has a blog all of a sudden o-o, and i've had mine since march of '07, and i've had a couple even before this one, ahaha. boys trends take a while.

peace, wings & chicken grease
cris

2.20.2010
the boy i like and the boy i love are slowly but surely seperating themselves from me. i deserve it.

i'm not living my life for you, and i don't need people to tell me how bad i am, or how much i suck. i don't plan on becoming serious, i'm here for you, and to help all of you. it's hard when you hear it constantly, and then you come to a place to escape from it, and you just hear it more. you legit hurt my feelings & you made me cry. i really hope you're happy, because you made me feel like shit.

past, present & future.
you do not need to thank me lil koala. playing l4d with you reminds me of all the garbage i put you through, the things i have done to push you away, to end our relationship. i don't play this game to "make it up" if that's what it sounds like, i love playing this game with, and i love how it makes you feel better and you forget everything when it comes your life when you play this game. i'm happy you enjoy this so much, it really, really makes me so happy to hear you laugh on vent with me, and act like we always do. i'm sorry all of the things i put you through, not being there, not being the person you could turn to, picking someone who only hurt me, and not the person who i should've picked, the person who never let me down. i'm sorry that for everything i haven't done for you. you are my best friend, you are my other half, you are everything to me.

i am glad that we are just as close again, and that those couple of months were not as detrimental as i thought it could have been. i love you my lil koba, and i'm glad this game gives you peace of mind.

we will never be caught, ever. we're untraceable. we are... amazing.

after the wreck...
...i picked myself up, spread my wings and flew away.

by joyce carol oates.

i realized that i'm holding myself back from great things.

i'm really scared, but what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger, right?

i think i ruined my relationship, but what else is new, i fuck everything up anyway.

bucket list.
i've been thinking a lot about all of things i want to do before i die...

see stars
scream into the grand canyon
visit all of america's useless monuments like the big ball of string
go to the four corners
visit NZ
visit LV's strip during the night
fall asleep outside with my significant other
make an impact

there's a lot more, but those are the ones i remember from my own list. they aren't in any particular order... just there. i want to do a lot before i die, i hope i have enough time.

rainy, boo.
i watched two really sad movies & now i'm feeling kinda depressed. and it's raining so that doesn't make it much better, sigh. today will be a "meh" day.

isee.
update.

everything is peachy keen.

kbai.